Well all of those questions were sent in too late, but I was able to think of some of my own, believe it or not.  When I use complicated words the German  really doesn’t understand what I’m saying, at first she would just agree and laugh, but now she has caught on and says no then asks me what it means (funny thing it only took her about 3 weeks to find that out, Eric still is not aware, yet).  She kind of played into my first question when she asked me if I wanted a muffin.  I told her no I was not hungry for muff, and then asked her if she like muff (I know a little childish, but I felt it was funny at that time).  Then the neighborhood’s homeless cat came by (I gave him some of the cat nip from Eric’s best buy ever from Petco, boy was I wrong it wasn’t the worst buy ever!  I got the little guy hooked and he comes by often, like a crack head and his dealer.) and I asked her if she was into “bestiality” she was confused, but I quickly told her the meaning (you like animals {exact words and I’m not really lying}) and she agreed that she did like animals (hell she lives with a vulture).  Then we got into some more serious questions about what her mom thought of her living out here and if she had told her mom that she was staying with Eric in his bedroom. She told me her mom was aware that they were staying together, but her mom trusted her, then I could see my opening. I asked what did her mom need to trust her about and she looked at me and said you know, and I gave that look that only I can give (a stupid, little, sly smile, you know when the Grinch was stealing Christmas, yeah that’s it) and said no what does she trust you about.  The German then told me that her mother trusted her not to do anything.  I felt like God had spoke to me and said “Eric has lied to you Tyler”.  I said “oh really and have you kept your mother’s trust?” and she told me “of course”.  So someone is lying and I have made it my life endeavor (well maybe just the next few days) to find out who the liar is. 

Eric came home and they did their lame things that they do and I went on a walk down the board walk (I actually kind of “promoted” a bum fight while I was out.  I love the bums of PB.).  When I got home I heard the German and Eric busy making dinner and Eric lecturing her on how she had to wash her hands while handling veggies after handling raw meat (what the fuck is he trying to do change a whole continent?)  She didn’t understand the reason, but she followed Eric’s orders and washed her hands.  I was trying to get in with my digital recorder, but was too late.  Eric went to put the meat on the BBQ and I saw my opening for a good question session, and turned on my recorder. 

G: What is the problem? I don’t know whats the problem. (with touching raw meat then vegetables)

T: Don’t you think Eric’s weird?

G: Yes, little bit(Broken English)

T: Who’s weirder me or Eric?

G: (laughing) Eric! (BE)

T: Eric’s weirder then me?

G: Yeah, in this point, yeah. (BE)

T: You mean all these strange things he does? He’s a weirdo isn’t he.

Conversation comes to a stop as Eric soars (vulture Eric) into the kitchen.  Gives a couple key little phrases then stretches out his arms and swings (chimpanzee Eric)off.

I then go back to the questions:

T: On a scale 1 to 10, 10 being the weirdest, what is he?

G: A seven (BE)

T: A seven, what am I

G:  I don’t know you well I haven’t had a chance to know you.

(what the hell I have known her just as long as she has known Eric, well not as intimate I guess.)

G: You are a 10 when you party (BE)

T: Yeah I’ll give you that, I get a little weird.

I then left and went back to watching the Colbert Report.

Fellow blogers I have very important news and for you who know Eric,  this will blow your mind, this is the only time I have ever ( and I have it on digital recorder of course {he still doesn’t know I record our conversations, just call me Donnie Brasco}) heard Eric say this. I didn’t believe it when I first heard it.  I had to go into the bathroom and listen to the recorder and make sure my mind was not playing tricks on me because of how out of the ordinary this is to come out of Eric’s mouth.  I was going to write it, but I wanted to see what you fellow blogers think it is. Stay tune for a huge development.

Also I would like to thank you guys for the comments it makes my job that much better when I get some feed back. I actually thought about calling it off yesterday (no comments), driving home from work, I stopped, pulled over (I-5 wasn’t moving that fast down here in SD, and I was letting a motorcycle pass me) and clinched my fist.  I pleaded “Talk to me Goose talk to me.” I could read peoples lips as they passed me in their cars “Tyler’s disengaged, Tyler has disengaged”, I could hear all you out there saying “reengage Tyler, reengage” I got myself together and turned my Honda back into the fast lane and reengage for the blogs sake. 

Well thanks again for the comments (if you can’ tell I enjoy receiving comments)

Remember to tune in tomorrow for the biggest news to hit since we learned the German was coming. 

Ericism of the day: 

G: Eric I want to have pancakes, with syrup, we don’t use syrup in Germany (BE)

E: Oh we can make some this weekend.

T: Don’t be fucking cheap take her out to Denny’s.

E: I don’t know about Denny’s, dog, I think there would be trans fat in their pancakes.

J: Are you joking Eric, you don’t think fat burger has trans fat.  

E: I just don’t know, dog!

Eric took the German to the Padres game tonight and packed dinner for himself because of the trans fat in ball park food ( he was going to pack her dinner for her too, but I told him she needed to have ball park food if she was going to her first game.  He agreed which was strange for him to do).  I have actually heard him telling her not to eat at KFC because of the lawsuit that someone has on them for using too much trans fat.  See what I have to deal with

Remember huge things revealed next post.